Positively Positive

I’m not graceful or light on my feet.  I’m not agile or athletic.  I’m not able to spin or balance elegantly.  I’m lucky I can walk a straight line.  Hell, I’m lucky to be upright, most days.  There is documented proof….unfortunately.    Moving in any direction is awkward to me.  One morning at bootcamp, one exercise involved walking like a duck carrying a kettle bell…that is, squat down as low as possible and walk.   I couldn’t do that. My knees were not cooperating and I don’t think I have enough strength in my quads to pull that shit off.  Oh, I tried, but failed miserably at it. Instead of a duck walk it was more like an old-lady-with-bad-knees-stumble.  (New exercise! ) That’s okay.  I crushed it at the split squats and the deadlift.

There are a lot of things I don’t do well.  There are also a lot of things I do well.  I’m also mediocre at some things and totally suck at others.  I can’t do everything well and I don’t tear myself up about it.  I attempt it, try to get better and move on.  Days are too short to spend wallowing in any self-pity or self-deprecating shit.  I have decided to kick the habit of putting myself down, and get in the habit of lifting myself up.

We all have those days where shit happens and whatever we seem to do, it just invariably goes wrong.  We try to avoid running out of gas, but life gets in the way and we forget.  We try to get to that deadline, but so many people needed us to do a million other things so that deadline came and went like yesterday’s lunch.  Did we forget to eat that, too?

As women, we tend to think about everybody else instead of us.  We put a million others and their needs in front of our own.  It’s instinct.  We are nurturers and we just put ourselves into the line of fire every fucking time.  Ugh.  We can’t help it.  That’s how awesome we are.

Phoebe and Rachel running

It’s all about attitude…

Social media is a cesspool of body-shaming, name-calling anti-everything kind of shit-show that just needs a little bit of uplifting positivity now and then.  We tend to take some things to heart, but we have to learn to ignore the bad and dwell on the good.   When I see my FB feed and its inundated with negative crap about Trump and Hillary, or the latest celebrity divorce or how we NEED to be something other than who or what we are, I tend to retaliate with cute animal baby pics.  It’s my go-to kind of cuteness that overrides any possible negative put-down one can throw.  How can anybody hate a cute animal baby?!

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There are ways to combat the ugly negatives and I suggest banning together and lifting each other up.  Be a cheerleader.  Be a motivator of wonderfulness…so awesome in the positive, that you repel the dark side and naturally attract light to you like moths to a flame, like metal to a magnet, like fingerprints to every damned wall in my house.  (Ugh)

We get beaten down enough.  Let’s lift each other up.  Smile and be positive.  Tell somebody she is awesome today…you may make someone’s day, week or year.  You don’t know everybody’s story.  Give them a smile and something to keep in their mind for the day, so when somebody tries to tear them down, they can go back to that smile or that positive remark and dwell on that for a while.  It helps.  Believe me.  Even the smallest of remarks can make a difference.  One night, I was returning to my house after a bit o’wine with friends. A neighbour happened to spot me on my way and commented on my new car.  I said I was now ‘cool’.  He said ‘You’ve always been cool.  Don’t sell yourself short’.  THAT was a small itty bitty remark that I keep.  It made me smile.  I also thought maybe he was a bit drunk, but take a compliment when one comes along!  AND, it was valuable advice.  Too many of us ‘sell ourselves short’.  Stop that.  Somebody around the corner might just think you’re ‘cool’, too.

No matter how off the cuff a remark is, it can be a big do-over for somebody.

Take care, stay positive and say something nice, will ‘ya?

woman worker

 

East Coast Trail The Sequel, With Art and Everything!

We, meaning the ladies and I and a few little ones, embarked on our second epic East Coast trail hike last Sunday morning onto Cobbler Path.

2016 645  A 4kms and change hike into awesomeness that can only be described as steep and climby and a wee bit sweary.   Although it wasn’t raining…it was foggy, instead.  Newfoundland weather never disappoints.

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See over the cliff?  That’s the ocean.  See it? IT’S RIGHT THERE! 

So foggy, I couldn’t see the ocean…which was a bummer because who doesn’t like to see the ocean?   AND, we had to walk/hike/climb and of course, swear up the long stairs onto a steep cliff to look down and see…nothingness.  White nothingness.  Ugh.  At least we got through it…with a balancing act of epic proportions, I might add.

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  WHERE ARE THE DAMNED RAILINGS?!!

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The last pics are the artwork we found on the buildings just as we were heading out of Red Cliff.

Enjoy.

 

 

 

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They are waiting for me to cross the rocks and water.  Smartasses.  

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Graceful as fuck.  Again. 

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We are happy we are not lost in the fog…BTW…THERE’S THE OCEAN IN THE BACKGROUND.  WE FOUND IT. 

Wow…a wee bit sweary, but interesting for sure…

Our next adventure we are expecting to see actual vistas…and scenes.  And hopefully each other at some point.  One of the ladies is hoping there will be railings on the stairs, but I’m not holding my breath.

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http://www.eastcoasttrail.ca/

http://eastcoasttrail.ca/trail/view.php?id=22

 

East Coast Trail Hike

So, the ladies have decided to try to conquer some of the East Coast Trails this summer and I decided in my infinite wisdom to join them.  We attempted one of the ‘easier’ trails on Saturday amidst the rain and muck and slippery-as-fuck rocks.  Did I say I ‘attempted’ the trail?  Yeah.

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The cliff of no return

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Graceful as fuck

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I’m over here!

As you can see by the photos, I’m not only waaaay behind ALL of them, I’m also as graceful as fuck when crossing the streams and smooth as silk rocks that beg you to just TRY to pirouette over them without slamming your face into theirs.  Seriously, East Coast Trail Association…your definition of ‘easy’ is so very different than mine.

Also, notice the sky high cliffs with the death-drops that defy anyone to take a jump and actually live to tell about it.  Bestie is not allowed to work at the suicide hotline after saying she could give tips if someone really wanted to be done away with life.  “I could just tell them where the best cliff is to make sure they’re not coming back.  No question on that one.   Oooh…just look at that drop!  There’s NO WAY your face will be recognizable after that!”  See?  She is your go-to girl for maps on telling life to take a flying leap…literally.

I’m expecting the next adventure to be just as ‘fun’ as this one.  It was enjoyable, except for the ‘wait for me’ and ‘do we have to cross that rushing water again?’ moments.  I’m just glad I didn’t have to pee.

 

Here are the links where to find the trails and the descriptions of each one.  If you’re out this way this summer, take on a trail but be prepared.  Take water, snacks, maps and maybe somebody who is sturdy on their feet.

http://www.eastcoasttrail.ca/

Our first foray into trail hiking was this one:  Silver Mine Head Path http://eastcoasttrail.ca/trail/view.php?id=24

 

 

 

 

When Good People Take Bad Pictures…Ugh.

So, I went on vacation and took some pictures.  I should not be in charge of pictures.  I’ll show you a snippet of what I took with my iPhone.  It’s a good thing Apple doesn’t totally trust me with electronics and fixes shit.  Here are some pics I thought made my trip to Hawaii more interesting.

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Pineapples growing in rows.  Yummmm..only, can you see them?

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Everyone should have a self-portrait complete with a natural wind machine.  I couldn’t recreate this shot if I tried. 

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A giant phallic symbol growing out of the ground.  Awesome!

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Of course, it wouldn’t be complete without a sunset over the water…I was aiming for that ship in the distance.  SEE IT?!  IT’S OVER THERE!! 

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I found this very interesting.  A gun club in Waikiki.  REALLY?! Vacation =shooting practice.  Hmmmm.  The top stair that says bring out your ‘Dirty Harry’ really makes you scratch your head.

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Notice the finger hovering over the top?  Yeah.  So good at pics.  

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Officers poker tournament.  I LOST BADLY…Look at that concentration…on everyone, but me.  I’m wondering where ma drink is…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There you go.  Pics to prove that unskilled photogs do exist.  That last pic was compliments of a friend we met on-board, who thankfully is more skilled than I.  Thanks, Ron.  You rock.

The Warm Winds of September

The warm winds of September were both well-received and confusing. This was July weather, not fall weather, although who’s complaining? Those fall days were sunny and warm, the bees were buzzing and the flowers were caught between blooming and dying off. The leaves were hesitant in changing colour since nature was telling them to remain their lush green. They were caught in a war of wills between seasonal tradition and environmental interference. The plan changed. The climate changed. July was freezing and cold; drizzly and foggy. While the rest of the world was baking in record high temperatures, we were snuggled down in our fleece jammies ramping up the heat and having bonfires to keep warm. Then August happened; August, with its sunny days and thank-the-Lord warmth. The sun shone, the kids ran amok in the street shouting SUMMER IS HERE! SUMMER IS HERE! And so it was. The flowers came out to say ‘hey’ and the grass grew…so did the weeds, but it’s all relative. We could sit out on a patio without shivering or looking for our hotpaws; barbeques were lit, cold beer was drank and we were able to emerge from hibernation, free from parkas, gloves even sweaters and see the light of day; we watched the sun fade at nine in the evening instead of five in the afternoon. We began to feel what the remainder of the world was feeling and we were damned happy about it.

Heat! Loves it.
Ahh, summer. September extended our August summer into fall, bringing warmth and sun and bright days. Our evenings are shorter, our days begin later but the warmth of September was giving us a well-deserved reprieve from our usual instantaneous transition from hot one day to downright cold the next. Thanks, September and the weather gods for giving us a break….Snow will fall soon enough, but until then, I will relish the lazy ease into cooler temperatures.
Now October, don’t go messing it up…take it easy on us. We need it…

fall leaves

Top Ten Things To Do This Spring That Won’t Involve Cleaning Anything, Making Anything or Exercising Anywhere. You. Are. Welcome.

It’s exhausting trying to keep up with all of the tips and advice from the ‘experts’ on what one should be doing with all of that extra time that we seem to have on our hands this coming Spring. What?!

We should be cleaning out our closets, our email, our garage and our colons… apparently that’s a thing. Cleaning out your colon. Eww…

And then there are others who insist we get in shape for summer, get exercising for that bikini, that bbq, than reunion, and lose weight for that somebody special we’ve been hanging around waiting our entire lives to meet and to fall helplessly in love with. Ugh. Enough already. Instead of working so hard at trying to be clean and skinny, let’s just relax and enjoy the coming of the warm weather…even if it’s taking its sweet ass time getting here.

So, here are my Top Ten Things to do This Spring:
10. Laugh at the neighbours who are insistent on getting rid of the frozen snow that still inhabits their front lawns by chopping, spraying and shoveling it onto the road. Our neighbor was at it twice yesterday and her snow pile is up over her front window. It must be driving her INSANE to see my side of the street with virtually no snow on our lawns…we are just better at taking it easy AND LETTING NATURE TAKE CARE OF THE MASSIVE FROZEN SNOW PILE. Instead of being a tad obsessive about frozen shit, she could harvest all that snow and make snow cones, sell them at 50cents a pop and then VOILA…instant cash to pay for that ice pick she’s going to rust out soon. Then she would have all the neighbourhood kids clamouring all over her place looking for snow cones…maybe I’ll post a sign at the corner to advertise for her. I’m all about community, peeps.
9. Wear spring colours. It makes you feel better and more alive to be wearing pink and purple and bright oranges and reds instead of blah-black and gruesome-grey…blah. IT’S SPRING DAMMIT…let’s get the colours out! Your mood will improve too…not that you’ve been crabby lately…or maybe you have. Sick of winter and cold and ice…yeah. You’re looking a little crotchety…get out that lovely yellow sweater and those pink capris…so what if it’s minus twenty… Wear that shit!
8. Do something outside….just not knocking down the snow. Take the dog for a walk, take down the elusive Christmas decorations, search the ground for growing buds, take photos of the neighbour’s cat pooping in the old guy’s garbage can…you know, get out there!
7. Invite friends over for drinks…that’s always a good idea.
6. I was going to write ‘plant bulbs’, but I think you have to do that in the fall…and it’s work, so this is not about work. It’s about relaxation….so go to the florist or the nearest store and buy a spring bouquet to put on your table. It will brighten your room…and you can admire it as you eat your frozen snow cone. AND, lace that snow cone with some liquor….make it a ‘grown up’ treat. What? It’s relaxing….
5. Revel in the longer days…it means longer naps.
4. Remember those long forgotten resolutions you made at midnight on that freezing December night when you were drunk and couldn’t even remember your first name, let alone something to resolve to do for the New Year?? Remember those? No? Me neither…carry on.
3. Be good to yourself. You’re the only one you’ve got.
2. Make a kid laugh by telling a stupid joke. They love those, even if they’re teens and they roll their eyes at you and say you’re lame…they really think you’re worse than lame…but that’s okay. You made them roll their eyes and probably smile when you weren’t looking. It still counts.
1. Be grateful for where you are, where you’re going and what you’ve done to get here.

There you go. Enjoy your Spring…

l-amazing-photo-pug-and-tulips

Conquering Fear

As most of you are aware, my plight into the dark abyss of fear is not foreign to me. Unfortunately, it’s been like a weight on my back for several years, shortly following the demon ride of all time, Soarin’. Disney has a foul sense of humour. They installed a ride intended for families and small children to enjoy epic vistas, a flying naturalistic view of land and water…and golf.
At the same time, they subjected the masses to ‘hang gliding’. WHAT?! This ride, apparently, is to “Experience the Golden State like never before while “hang-gliding” over landscapes as varied as they are beautiful. Feel like you’re flying—and even smell what you’re seeing as you skim rolling waves, powdery ski slopes, majestic redwood forests, fragrant orange groves and familiar landmarks like the Golden Gate Bridge.” Ahh, it sounds so innocent and lovely. THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE?! I don’t remember FLYING OVER THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE! AHHH. I probably had my eyes shut in a frightened panic thinking I would surely crash into one of the steel components. Because, when you’re me, that isn’t a movie in front of me…it’s fucking real. As for the orange groves, they spray orangey stuff at you intending for you to ‘have the full experience’ when really all it did to me, was make me sneeze and jolt me almost to my death. From 6 feet in the air. What? It could happen…Could have hurt my ankle or bruised my ego or something….
Really, it simply subjected me to a dangling terror-filled journey into scenic vistas of golf courses and orange groves at perceived heights of 30,000 feet, whilst suspending me randomly in mid-air with a wanton frail looking belt and my own warped sense of minimal security. *sigh* DAMN YOU DISNEY. I think I cried through the entire thing. It was at that moment, I realized I was having a major panic attack ON A KIDDIE DISNEY RIDE. So, simply put…I decided riding on anything that left my feet dangling in mid-air with no security belts, major shoulder straps or helmets made of steel, was beyond my realm of possible feats. The end.
Until, Epic Ladies’ Trip 2012 and Jamaica ski lift ride from the other side of hell….the Jamaican jungle. I can still hear one of the ride operators in an attempt to fill the ladies with epic joy while we were dangling haphazardly several hundred feet above any kind of terra firma, yelling “HEY LADIES! HOW’S THE RIDE?!” All the while, me swearing profusely under my breath and sobbing in quiet hysterics with white knuckles gripping the steel bar fearing my ultimate descent into the jungle with nothing to soften my landing but the large fern leaves of all those very tall trees…ugh. In defense of the ladies and the tour operators, I did not even THINK to research the ride to Magic Mountain to see HOW THE HELL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET UP A MOUNTAIN. DUH…IT’S A MOUNTAIN. So, totally my fault and I managed to live through the ride up…tear stained and partially broken, but alive…and the ride down. Pretty much the same thing, only we were headed downwards, so logically, we were falling anyways. That’s how my brain works, people.
It was this latest vacation with Hubby that I decided enough was enough. Two trips with panic attacks were two trips too many. I needed to conquer this fear of flight. At least, attempt to conquer it. So when the opportunity arose to book a trip on the Oasis of the Seas, we took it. And when Hubby declared he was going to ride the zip line on the boat… I volunteered to take pictures. That was going to be it. Then he suggested I try it. I laughed at him and MAY have said something like “you are fucking crazy. HELLO. SOARIN’. DANGLING IN MID AIR” Then I thought about it. I looked at videos. LITTLE KIDS WERE GOING ON THE ZIPLINE. Surely, parents weren’t subjecting their children to death defying antics like a Zipline without precautions? Right? RIGHT?! AND, they were wearing helmets, and most importantly SAFETY BELTS! Hmmm…
After a bit of soul searching and arguing, mostly with myself, I convinced the weak and terribly frightened Kayjai that conquering a fear born from an innocent Disney ride, surely cannot be that bad. AND, If I happened to plummet to my death, what better way to go than in the Caribbean on a huge cruise ship above a burger shop that sold burgers and deadly milkshakes? Really, I would probably die more from the milkshake, than from the zip line…maybe.
We both stood in line and I managed to cross the zipline in epic Kayjai fashion. No, I won’t show you the video, because, well, my reaction at the end of the ride was…special. The smile was plastered to my face, I was stunned into silence and I was wearing a helmet…it wasn’t a fashion forward moment. I’ll let you imagine it…
Here’s the shot before I got to the top.

See how excited I am?

See how excited I am?

The greatest trepidation I felt, was putting my feet at stage 3 on the steel bar with the operator telling me repeatedly to ‘let go.’ I’m sure he was about to pull me from the whole thing when I did just that. I let go. I let go, forced my eyes to stay open and slid down the ride. I didn’t fall. I didn’t panic. I let go. The fear was replaced with joy. I extended my legs laughed at myself and made it to the other side with a huge relief and accomplishment. And possible whiplash at missing the landing mat and hitting the spring…it wasn’t pretty, but it was done.
No tears were shed in the making of this moment. Well, maybe a few at the sheer joy of accomplishment.
Fear is a powerful emotion and if you let it, it can take over. Don’t let it. Conquer your fear and see how strong you really are.
I dare you….let go.