Me: Mags, stop eating the sock.
Mags: I love socks. Socks are heaven. This one is my precious. You can’t have it. STOP LOOKING AT IT. IT’S MINE.
Me: If you get all paranoid and possessive I will take that from you.
Mags: Oh, no you won’t! You have to catch me first!
Me: Oh, God. I’m not chasing you. This is me walking away.
Mags: Okay, but look at the sock I have. I’m going to follow you, and jump on you and pee on the floor from how exciting this sock is.
Me: Ugh, stop being so annoying and PUT DOWN THE DAMNED SOCK!
Mags: No. I love the sock. The sock loves me. We are inseparable. We Looooove each other.
Me: You know the sock is a thing and not a living breathing thing, right?
Mags: Tsk, you doubt my intelligence human. Now stop bothering me and look at my sock.
Mags: YES! LOOK AT MY SOCK. IT’S A GLORIOUS SOCK!!!
Me: Stop chewing bits off of it and eating it. You’re going to get digestive problems
Mags: NO, I WON’T! I LOVE MY SOCK!!!!
Me: Here look. Cheerios. Cheerios are better to eat than socks. Gawd, I think I said that to one of the kids before….
Mags: WHAT?! YOU HAVE CHEERIOS?!
Me: Yes, and I’m just going to casually lay them here on the bed so you can eat them…see?
Mags: Hmmm….but, sock though…
Me: Cheerios, Mags. Come and have some cheerios…yummmm…
Mags: Well, maybe just one…
Me: *snatches sock from floor as Mags eats Cheerios*
Mags: I love Cheerios!
Me: I know, Mags. I know….