The Universe Is Being Trumpy


 

Whenever an issue arises that seems too all-encompassing or beyond any conscious reckoning, I throw it on out to the Universe to take care of. That way, if it all goes to shit, I can throw my fist into the air and curse the Universe for being obstinate or even a little too self-important and not blame myself for being lazy or forgetful. I mean really, you couldn’t spare five minutes to take care of that little thing I asked for? YOU HAD ONE JOB, UNIVERSE.  

Meanwhile, I’m stuck reveling in the mundane and eking out a bit of fun where I can muster the energy. This life thing is tedious sometimes and I must admit to being just a bit tired. I get tired thinking of getting up in the morning, I get tired of going to work, I get tired of doing household crap and I get tired of getting tired. I sound old. And like I’ve just given up on life all together, but really I haven’t. Honest.  

I still get to sit by the fireplace on my quiet nights when I’m alone and write in my journal. I still get to get out with friends and be obnoxious. I still get to bother my kids and ask annoying questions like ‘what are you doing?’ and say the ever popular ‘CRACK IS WHACK’ That pretty much sums up my discussion on drugs. That and ‘JUST SAY NO’. Lame slogans I can get behind. My point in there somewhere is that even when life seems very dull or overly annoying to the point of downright ridiculous, I can still find things to make me feel a little myself again. Like spew annoying clichés at the kids about drugs. Write about my dullness in my journal that is non-judgy and even kinda enjoys my boring run-on sentences. At least, that’s how I like to think of it. I get to exercise. SOME people may roll their eyes or say ‘oh, yeah. What a privilege’ but when I look forward to getting to the studio and a having someone yell at me that ‘YOU CAN DO ANYTHING FOR TEN SECONDS’ and ‘YAY BURPEES!’ then maybe, it’s become a part of me. Maybe I can’t have a good day without moving and feeling stronger. Or maybe, deep down I’m a masochist and I like all the yelling and sweating and swearing…like a Trump rally, only without all the hate.

Either way, there are other things to do and feel good about when life gets dull or ridiculous or too Trumpy. (Trumpy – Adj. word that describes life when it gets judgy, hateful, sweaty and utterly ridiculous to the point of giving the world the middle finger. Eg. He was to the point of swinging from the balcony after his girlfriend dumped him. He wanted to give up. He felt his life had become too Trumpy without her presence. ) Feel free to use this new word. I expect Webster’s will indoctrinate it soon enough.

Get outside, find a hobby, write in a journal, or do some burpees…whatever makes it better.  

Leaving shit up to the Universe to take care of may work some of the time, but it seems to me if I can tackle it myself, it will work out better. This way, I might get all of the blame but I just may get all of the credit, too! And of course, the cake in the end.  

THERE IS ALWAYS CAKE IN THE END…

 

Right! Best. Quote. Ever.

 

 

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We Need A Dumbledore Right Now!

To say that I am dismayed and disheartened by the events in the upcoming U.S. presidential election would be an understatement.  More like appalled, disgusted, throw in some terror-induced exclamations of  “OH MY GAWD WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!” and then back to disheartened.  I’m on a roller coaster of emotions ranging from broken-hearted to horrified.  AND, I’m not alone.   I’m hoping Canada will respond with some mad wall-building and sarcasm aimed at He Who Shall Be Named Asshole.  Seriously.  How is this even happening?  I’m thinking the Americans must think it’s all a big joke and he will go away with a wave of a Dumbledore hand and his magical wonderful wand.  It’s getting so that every time we look at a news outlet, he is screaming out some obscenity or random idiot remark with a fist raised in ire and terror.  Gee…I seem to remember seeing some shit like this before in history books and news reels from say, 1939-1945???

We need a Dumbledore right now.

Dumbledore

Be gone, He Who Shall Be Named Asshole! 

And with all of the shittiness with the economy and declining oil prices and the stories of horrendous treatment of girls and women in India with another gang rape, and ugh…it goes on and on.  The atrocities of society are starting to outweigh the goodness in all of the media.

We need to turn that around.

Let’s bring some goodness and humanity back into the world.

First, He Who Shall Be Named Asshole must say ‘Adieu’ to the political landscape…I don’t care how, I don’t care where…just go.  And while you’re at it, take all of those people who are called your ‘supporters’ with you.  AND, take the men of India who think women are dirt, down the mountain on a bumpy and ball-slamming ride on a flat inner tube.  AND, take all the murderers, gun-toters, baby killers, puppy-millers, kitten-haters and general dregs of our society down that same mountain in flat inner tubes with the rest of you!  There. That’s better.

Now, the rest of us peace-loving and generally good citizens of the world will do what we do best.  Smile.  Say nice things to make people’s days go better.  Take care of the sick and wounded, help old ladies cross the street, feed the puppies and kittens and the starving children and work for world peace, ‘CAUSE DAMMIT THAT’S WHAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO DO.

Pug froggies

Because, who doesn’t love puppies dressed as froggies?  WHO?!

Now, if you don’t mind we have a lot of work to do.  So stop distracting us good people with your words of hatred and abominable rhetoric and take off, eh!

My head hurts.

bunny

Cuteness.  You. Are. Welcome