Tag Archives: friends

Family Time and Dog Farts

Posted in Misguided Musings by

It’s not very often that we can gather together as a family, these days. With daughters working and going to Uni full time, and son also in his first year of high school and slightly employed (I say ‘slightly’ as he has secured a gig as a referee for some minor hockey games, but only on the weekends), our busy lives have prevented us from being in the same room for longer than fifteen minutes at a time. So when the opportunity presented itself for us to take a road trip to Nanny’s house Christmas day (a 4 1/2 hour long road trip), we surprisingly jumped at it. Turns out, the spontaneous let’s squish in the truck with an anxiety prone dog who should be taking Prozac and anti-farting medication was one of the better times we’ve had.
Why?
A short trip that entailed little in way of responsibility for any parties involved and virtually no expectations except that Nanny would be home and happy to see us. Yay for the latter, as Nanny happened to be out and we were waiting patiently for her return…but when she did show up, she was happy to see us. And we were happy to be out of the truck and away from the smell…ugh.

Our drive home on the open road...

Our drive home on the open road…

What?! I didn't fart...that was the boy...I blame him.

What?! I didn’t fart…that was the boy…I blame him.

As fast as that road trip was (up and back home the next day) the time in the truck produced laughs, cuddles for us in the back seat, one spilled hot chocolate, a wandering dog who enjoyed licking everyone’s faces and some serious book time. Except for the dog’s flatulence and the tragedy of a hot chocolate downed on a Christmas shirt, it was quite a great ride home. One I think we needed in order to get that ‘family’ togetherness we have been lacking.
Since our spontaneous arrival at Nanny’s meant no Christmas turkey (Nanny had been invited out for turkey that afternoon), we postponed our dinner for a couple of days and invited Bestie and her fam. for the event. That meant, nine for dinner. Besides a runny bread pudding and less-than-baked cheesecake, the turkey was great and everybody around the table for dinner was amazing…
A nice way to spend Christmas.
New Year’s Eve prompted the annual Resolution Reformation and I cannot remember what I declared in Miss H’s binder of, what I am confident to be, intelligent and non-inebriated declarations of determined goals for the year ahead. However, after giving it some thought and a couple of prompts from Miss H herself in the forms of prolific quote and thoughtful email, I have decided to enjoy more.
That’s it really…smile more, laugh more and enjoy more. Fairly simple, really. I want to be able to enjoy the moments around me, the people who pass in and out of my life and the little stuff that we take for granted. For example, the quiet snowfall last night…I went out in my pj’s and took a few snaps, stood in the falling snow with my face to the sky and stuck out my tongue. I caught a few snowflakes and admittedly, a few questioning glances from neighbours, but I enjoyed the shit out of it. I got to linger in the peacefulness of a quiet night, the black sky darted with fat snowflakes falling gently onto my face and I thought “this is a wonderful night”.

Our snowy night...

Our snowy night…

That, my friends, is an awesome start to a new year in my books….how was yours?

The Bracelet

Posted in Misguided Musings by

For the past couple of days, I have been wearing a charm bracelet that was given to me when I was nine years old. It’s silver with little charms that dangle from rounded chains connected by other rounded chains. It’s like those paper chains we used to make in school from colored construction paper and then hang from Christmas trees as garland. Only made of silver. And much nicer. It was brought back for me from Holland. I’ve added some charms to it over the years, but I still keep it in a special place in my jewelry box. The person who gave me the bracelet was very special to me. Although she is no longer with me, I wear the bracelet at times I need to feel her presence; when I need to feel her closer to me and to be nine years old again. I think we all need that from time to time.
A friend just recently lost his father. It’s tragic and sad and reminded me of her. Not of her death or of her illness that took her, but of the woman who was very involved in my life, who said I would always be a little bit hers. Of summers at the cottage, trips to baseball games and our first ride on a plane. She died at the age of fifty after a stroke and health problems that left her weak and unable to speak. I still miss her and carry her with me everywhere. The memories remain even if she is no longer in my presence.
I wanted to say something that would ease the pain of losing a loved one, but there is nothing that can be said; only that the person may be gone, but you carry that person with you always. He is not lost, he is not gone forever from your memory or from what makes you, you. He is gone from your house, from his house, from his car, from the physical portion of your world, but he remains a part of you. The words he has spoken, the essence of who he was, what he meant to you, how he made a difference in your life, is not gone. He is carried through your life, through your children and through your words and actions.
I’ve lost my parents, my brother and my friend, but their presence is always one I feel. Words I say to my kids, I can often hear my mother’s voice. When I look at my son’s eyes and see his passion for golf (yes, golf) I see my father. Every time I get the opportunity to work with a struggling student, or hear the rumble of a motorcycle, I see my brother’s smile. When I feel the sand between my toes and hear the ocean, I think of Oogie and remember how much she loved the sound of the ocean waves.
Sometimes it takes a tangible object like my bracelet, to bring them closer. I still have my mother’s jewelry, I still have trophies that once belonged to my brother, I still have my father’s slides and old projector, and I have my bracelet. All things that once belonged to my loved ones, but I keep in remembrance. Not that I need these things to remember, I have them because they once loved these things. They once touched them, admired them, and belonged to them. I guess they make me feel closer to them for having something they once loved, but I don’t need these objects all of the time.
My loved ones are never far from me. I just know where to look….

Top Ten Things I Learned on My Epic Family Summer Vacation The Sequel

Posted in Top Ten by

As it is with ma ‘hood, we like to do stuff together. In fact, togetherness is all the rage, yo. So, behold, on the fourteenth of this past month, five and a half families(the half came in middle of said vacation when a father-son duo joined the group) decided to depart TOGETHER on the Epic Family Vacation venturing on what would become an epic fantasmic event of lost wallets, missing Disney tickets, the barbeque from hell and frogs that just wouldn’t shut the fuck up. Here is a list of shit I learned whilst venturing into the wilds with nothing more than my wits and my flip flops (and alcohol…don’t forget the alcohol):

1. Blue water is good, brown water is yukky and may contain nastiness such as alligators, crocodiles, mosquitos on steroids and wasps…ewww.

2. Nothing says ‘romance’ more than sharing a room with three kids, a cot, a loose praying mantis and a veritable array of alcoholic beverages that do not go well with oatmeal. ugh.

3. Barbeques work especially well when the propane tank is attached and actually filled with propane. When the inevitable ’empty tank’ situation occurs, the next best thing is to ‘borrow’ the neighbour’s barbeque…only beware. Their anti-theft shit is awesome. Four men couldn’t open the tank….it took yours truly, a stealthy little can opener and five minutes of hacking to get that baby to move. I know…I rock. I was proud to announce ma prowess with barbeques after the men all sat back down and recommenced to chugging the beers they were consuming pre-barbeque valve contest. There should have been prize money involved…at least a free t-shirt that read “I OPENED THE BARBEQUE TANK WITH A CAN OPENER. WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY?” yeah.

Yay! VACATION!!

Yay! VACATION!!

4. Attending Disney is better when you actually remember to bring the tickets. This did not happen to me, but to poor Birthday Girl who forgot the tickets, however, did wisely take pics of them and showed them to the nice lady at Blizzard Beach, who promptly issued new ones. We love her. AND, Birthday Girl’s mom who had to endure the “This is how you take a picture with iphone and email said picture” lesson…which was a bit lengthy, I understand.

5. Keep it in your pants, pal. The wallet, I mean. I was referring to the wallet. The escapades continued with Bday Girls’ fam as her hubby promptly lost his shit on the Summit Plummit ride…and by shit, I was referring to the wallet…which was recovered. Eventually. See? There are good people still walkin’ around out there…AND, he could have lost his shit on that ride I didn’t stick around long enough to watch the descent into madness.

6. Don’t take the fucking chair lift, please. Bday Girl made the mistake of gently suggesting we take the ‘nice chair lift ride’ to the top of the ‘mountain’ so we could ride the water slide. I think I vomited a little in ma mouth before I retorted the “DO YOU WANT TO SEE ME CRY?!!” She then remembered my anxiety around chair lifts (there is no such thing as a ‘nice chair lift ride’) and we made the trek up the stairs.

7. Saying “I just passed away” is not the same as “I just passed out”. Just to be clear. I don’t want people to start the funeral arrangements for daughter who said she “passed away” whilst lounging in a chair in the summer heat…poor girl. I think somebody was eyeing her room and planning to pilfer her eye shadow collection…

8. Standing in the underbelly of a large ship with four thousand of your closest friends with no AC and lined up like targets in a shooting contest all in the name of ‘safety’ doesn’t really work well for me. Hence the nausea, intense sweating and hyperventilating that went on before I moved out to get air. I think if we ever were in a dire situation and we needed life boats, I’ll jump, thanks. I tend to like air…and breathing. Breathing is good. I’ll chance the drowning…and the sharks. Sharks are our friends, right? Right?

9. Apparently, there is no such thing as ‘too much Rum’. Hmmm….

10. Packing a suitcase can be tricky when said suitcase is packed too full already and shit starts to spill out and you have to start leaving stuff behind because it’s over the weight limit. Pretty soon you’ll be approaching strangers in an airport and asking if they want to buy used t-shirts or shoes or ‘look, it’s pretty! Hardly worn…underwear’ . That’s when airport security gets a little ‘annoyed’ and asks you to cease and desist with the Undergarment Giveaway Extravaganza you had planned. Damnit. Soo much decent underwear to be won by the many weary travellers just LOOKING for a great pair of boxers. Ugh.

I leave you with the best line of the vacay:

Heard on the plane as we were about to touchdown in St. John’s, my nine year old neighbour promptly asks what day it is. Friday, we say. “Hey, it’s Happy Hour now. Might as well break out the Tequila! Vacation isn’t over yet!”

AWESOME….I like the way she thinks….

 

I Blame The Polar Vortex, The Black Hole and The Higgs Boson Particle For My Inability To Walk Without Falling…and Rob Ford

Posted in Misguided Musings by

As I took my (hopefully) last and fateful fall in the driveway by way of black ice, ( I shall call it black ice ‘cause it was ice and the pavement is black and I didn’t see it with all that glaring ball of light shining in my eyes last week..something we have not seen most of these 5 mths of hell…otherwise known as winter) I began to laugh, only it hurt so much I had to stop and realized if H was looking out her window right at that exact moment, she would have caught me just gangling up from behind my car and looking to my right at the man and children pretending not to have seen my butt slam, only to almost slip again from all the laughter and hilarity going on…and then watch as my car door slammed the mirror on daughter’s car. A great start to an obviously even greater day!
My shoulder has been ripped in several locations due to my ever evolving ‘exercise journey’ that involved one too many downward dogs and pushups. I can only assume this from the overzealous amount of pain that has decided to envelop me, leaving me sobbing in pain a few nights as no sleeping position was comfortable. The dog kept rescuing socks from the laundry basket in hopes that these gifts would appease my crying. Gifts of socks are always appreciated, but at the witching hour of midnight, I could have done without. I managed to get a spot that was a lesser degree of pain from exquisite (doctors call pain ‘uncomfortable’ or ‘exquisite’…never ‘excruciating’…they’ve obviously never given birth sans pain relievers or epidurals..or torn muscles in their shoulders they never realized they had) and got a few hours rest. It still hurts. I need chocolate and alcohol. Maybe a sling. A new shoulder? A varying degrees of drugs – street or legal….oh, sorry “medication”….ugh.
I’ve been absent from the blogosphere as of late and have no reason whatsoever for my lack of presence than…ummm….wait a minute, I’m thinking… Laziness…hmm…yep, that about sums it up.

Lazeh..lazy…lazarona….lazarooni…lazalazalaxidaisical laziness.

Me. I’ll get a t-shirt with that emblazoned on the front.
Me: LAZALAZALAXIDAISICAL LAZINESS QUEEN.
BOW TO YOUR QUEEN.
WAIT. DON’T GET UP. STAY THERE. IT’S MORE COMFY AND STUFF. I KNOW YOU WANNA BOW, SO THAT COUNTS. MAKE ROOM, I’M COMIN’ OVER. IT’S EXHAUSTING BEING A QUEEN.
MY SHOULDER HURTS..… I NEED ICE.

NO, NOT FOR MY SHOULDER FOR MA DRINK! GEESH.

exhausted meme

 

It’s Like the Golden Globes but Without the Pretty Dresses and the Awards and the Celebrities

Posted in Misguided Musings by

 

golden globe

I was watching the Golden Globes the other night with the ladies.  As we were sitting around laughing about our Yoga class escapades in our yoga pants and downing wine and chocolate,(which is necessary after Yoga.  It’s the rules.  We looked it up) we listened to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler crack jokes and make fun.  Then the awards started.  And the speeches.  Aside from the Bissetian Diatribe of Death where Jacqueline Bisset decided to enlighten us about her ‘beauty secret’, (apparently it’s forgiveness.  Okay, so I forgive you for being drunk and rambling.  There.  I should be gorgeous in the morning.  Thank you, Jackie!) it occurred to me that we shouldn’t have to thank people we think are awesome and who have made indelible marks on our lives only after we are presented with an awesome award…really, we all deserve Globes just for sitting through Bisset’s rambling and Diane Keaton’s weak singing.. really, we should. AND, Gorgeous George was nowhere to be found.  Ugh. We should take that golden opportunity to thank our peeps now.

So, in the spirit of the Globes, I hereby give my thank you speech in advance in case I win an Oscar, or a Golden globe or a Razzy or even a tube sock as a booby prize (although, winning a booby prize would infer winning a booby…not a tube sock) and at the time of the illustrious award presentation,  I am unable to form words recognizable to the human ear…or by some unfathomable twist of fate, morph into Jacqueline Bisset.

First of all I want to thank my husband of twenty something years for only being a douche half the time.  I understand that living with me can be painful and downright bizarre, so I’ll forgive you for being Mr. Crabby Pants on occasion…or twenty.  I can’t imagine living my life without you and I love you to death.  And you make me smile when I think you’re being a total asshole, so there’s that.

Thank you for my children for surviving all of the crap we put you through with moving and then forcing you to be responsible little people.  I know it’s painful to live with a father who likes rules and a mommy who thinks Teletubbies are an alternate alien life form, but through it all you have somehow survived.  And have become people!  Actual living and breathing people.  By some miracle of the universe you are not only intelligent, caring and cute, but you are all funny as shit.  I take credit for that.  You. Are. Welcome.  I mean…I love you all to the depths of my being and I am honored to be your mommy. 

To my family in Ontario who like to take credit for my upbringing in some happenstance, I thank you for letting me sleep in your kid’s room, holding my hand through my mother’s death and giving me the advice of a lifetime, “Don’t eat the gum that’s stuck to the bottom of the table”.  You all rock.

Thank you to my brother who managed to survive my awkward shyness, and not totally deny my existence to his friends…all of the time.  I know there was an unsaid understanding that you would be my brother forever and for that I love you.  Thank you to his wife for being the sensible one and the nephew for being the creative one and putting up with my new-found sense of humor. I know I take some getting used to, but let’s face it your family is waaay more crazy than me, so really I think as a SIL, you hit the jackpot lady.   

To my parents who had the daunting task of raising a shy redheaded freckle-face, I love you both deeply and I carry you with me everywhere.  I see you in my son’s blue eyes, my daughter’s round face and my daughter’s expressions.  You are the reason I have a beautiful family.

To Oogie and Floyd who somehow decided that becoming a part of three kids’ lives was a great idea, I think you got way more than you bargained for with us.  You have left us with loving memories of a summer cottage on a lake, a first plane ride and countless Christmases and weekends filled with laughter and love.  I miss you both desperately and carry your smiles with me daily. You gave me a sistah from another mutha who thinks I’m a bit ‘out there’ but still has the guts to admit she knows me.  Awesome.

To my in-laws who, after our first meeting said , “She’s sarcastic as shit but maybe we can get to like her on some level”. You all have put up with me for so long, I’m surprised you still want to associate with an asshole like me.  God love ya’s.

To ma family out on the West coast, you’ve known me from being a shy introvert to a sarcastic wino and I love you to bits.  If we ever get the chance to live in the same coast, the island will never be the same.  I’m lucky to have besties on two coasts.

To ma Facebook friends and family, it’s a wonder you all admit that you know me.  You still ‘like’ my stupid remarks and lame comments which totally floors me.  I’m always expecting to get a message in my inbox saying “Please stop being an asshole and stop leaving shit on my wall. I don’t really like you that much, I’m just your friend because your brother told me I had to be.” But that has not yet happened…maybe after this post it will.  You all have been so supportive and nice and even inspirational!  Thanks for that. 

To ma girls in St. John’s, you all have become more than just neighbours, you are ma friends and despite ma annoying emails, ma ability to make fun of lost children and wayward puppies, you still by some bizarre happenstance, put up with me. Thank you for being my entertainment, my confidants and my besties.  I manage to write a bit because you all encourage me to keep going and at the same time, laugh at all the shit I throw down. You all rock!

Finally, to ma blogging buddies who inspire me to write a bit and visit me on occasion to say nice things, thank you for making ma blogging days a little brighter.  I look forward to your posts, love hearing your comments and take a little joy in thinking I may know you just a bit. 

There, I hope I didn’t go over ma time limit and the hokey music isn’t playing to try to push me off the stage.  I am truly grateful to all of you for making me a better person, despite my asshatery.  You have all made huge marks on my life…and some of you, on ma carpet and F’s chairs.  Clean that shit up, will ‘ya?

Reallly, Jackie you should stop talking...like 5 mins. ago

Reallly, Jackie you should stop talking…like 5 mins. ago