As I took my (hopefully) last and fateful fall in the driveway by way of black ice, ( I shall call it black ice ‘cause it was ice and the pavement is black and I didn’t see it with all that glaring ball of light shining in my eyes last week..something we have not seen most of these 5 mths of hell…otherwise known as winter) I began to laugh, only it hurt so much I had to stop and realized if H was looking out her window right at that exact moment, she would have caught me just gangling up from behind my car and looking to my right at the man and children pretending not to have seen my butt slam, only to almost slip again from all the laughter and hilarity going on…and then watch as my car door slammed the mirror on daughter’s car. A great start to an obviously even greater day!
My shoulder has been ripped in several locations due to my ever evolving ‘exercise journey’ that involved one too many downward dogs and pushups. I can only assume this from the overzealous amount of pain that has decided to envelop me, leaving me sobbing in pain a few nights as no sleeping position was comfortable. The dog kept rescuing socks from the laundry basket in hopes that these gifts would appease my crying. Gifts of socks are always appreciated, but at the witching hour of midnight, I could have done without. I managed to get a spot that was a lesser degree of pain from exquisite (doctors call pain ‘uncomfortable’ or ‘exquisite’…never ‘excruciating’…they’ve obviously never given birth sans pain relievers or epidurals..or torn muscles in their shoulders they never realized they had) and got a few hours rest. It still hurts. I need chocolate and alcohol. Maybe a sling. A new shoulder? A varying degrees of drugs – street or legal….oh, sorry “medication”….ugh.
I’ve been absent from the blogosphere as of late and have no reason whatsoever for my lack of presence than…ummm….wait a minute, I’m thinking… Laziness…hmm…yep, that about sums it up.
Me. I’ll get a t-shirt with that emblazoned on the front.
Me: LAZALAZALAXIDAISICAL LAZINESS QUEEN.
BOW TO YOUR QUEEN.
WAIT. DON’T GET UP. STAY THERE. IT’S MORE COMFY AND STUFF. I KNOW YOU WANNA BOW, SO THAT COUNTS. MAKE ROOM, I’M COMIN’ OVER. IT’S EXHAUSTING BEING A QUEEN.
MY SHOULDER HURTS..… I NEED ICE.
NO, NOT FOR MY SHOULDER FOR MA DRINK! GEESH.
21 thoughts on “I Blame The Polar Vortex, The Black Hole and The Higgs Boson Particle For My Inability To Walk Without Falling…and Rob Ford”
Lol this was entertaining, and I hope your shoulder feels better
Thanks! It’s getting there….
Not only lazy and not visiting other blogs, you don’t even appreciate the socks from the dog! Hope the should gets better and it doesn’t inhibit drinking an alcoholic beverage.
It’s feeling much better, thanks Frank. And nothing usually inhibits the wine drinking.
That’s the spirit! Even if two arms in a cast … a straw works!
I’ve used a straw…it changes the taste..
Ah ha … need a glass straw.
AH!! Brilliant idea…
But hey …. nothing beat a glass.
That’s right…a very big glass….
You would love the Grand Tasting we attend … It’s a fund raising event … .you get a glass, put into a room with 700 wines for 2 1/2 hours.
Wow…that sounds awesome. I hope you get to taste many a fine wine…
There are many in a wide range of prices …. but I try to find the ones that are the best of the lot … and out of the price range I normally buy. … then we stay at a downtown hotel.
Sorry to hear of your troubles – as the old saying over here goes “put a sock in it” so perhaps doggy was trying to comfort you!
I’m sure she was. She’s a good puppy.
Sending you good thoughts and a glass of virtual wine.
I virtually accept the wine…thank you!
Nothing worse than not being able to find a comfortable position to sleep. Hope you have a speedy recovery!
Thanks, Sandy! I’m feeling much better. Even managed a short run today. Hope all is good in your world!
I think you should get roller skates and let the dog tow you around.
I think that’s probably a safer idea for me than walking…