Tag Archives: Painful

Hollering You Home

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The last visit I had with my mom, I made her clothes shopping with me.  Which she hated. Not just because she didn’t like wearing anything besides pajamas, but because I made her wear shoes.  She hated wearing shoes.  I guess her slippers were far more comfortable and she found shoes so constrictive.  I refused to allow her to go out in public with slippers on her feet, instead insisting on her donning her running shoes.  She complained and had she been the type of woman who swore, I’m sure  I would have heard a few expletives that day directed solely in my direction, but she complied to my request nonetheless.

I managed to get her out to the Thames Lea Mall with her shoes on and secured in her wheelchair.  I think we were out ten minutes before she began asking when we were going to eat.  That made my shopping job a little easier since now I could use lunch as a reward.  After I told her we would be eating as soon as the shopping was completed, we had new pajamas, underwear, slippers and a couple of tops in our cart in under a half an hour.  Food was definitely one of her greatest joys.  Of course, once we sat down, ordered and the food arrived, she would take two bites and declare she was full.

If she required other clothes, I would go alone and proudly show her the purchases upon my return, only to hear “I don’t wear that colour” and “What is THAT?!”  She would reluctantly have them labeled and put into her closet and I’m not sure she ever wore her new clothes, but she humored me enough to make me think she may wear them eventually.

Mom was stubborn and proud.  She had definite likes and dislikes and let you know what those were.  She craved being alone and was determined in her resolve to remain as independent as possible.  She loved her family, respected others’ opinions and always had a quick smile or witty remark ready.  Even when she was in pain and was having a rough day, she continued to tease the nurses and the doctors with sarcastic retorts to their frequent apologies and expressions to remorse for her situation.  Mom was more concerned with how everyone around her was feeling than she was about herself.  She neither asked for assistance nor insisted on anyone’s participation in her care.  She expected those around her to remain dedicated to their families, to be good to those around them and to gain fulfillment through goodness and abundant expressions of love.

I was reminded when speaking with Keith about when we were younger and played outside, Mom would holler to us to come home from the park for dinner.  When I was sitting with her at the hospital one afternoon and the pain was evident and her body was itchy and irritated from the morphine, she exclaimed that everyone was hollering.  I knew then that the angels were hollering her home, just as she had done with us.

Although we are sad today that Mom has left us physically, her spirit remains active in our hearts and her memory will not fade from our minds.  Be comforted in the knowledge that she was a dedicated mother, a trusted friend and a sister to all the women in her life.  She is with God and loved ones now, happy to have moved on and happy to have been hollered home at last.

Margaret Josephine

April 7 1929 – March 2 2012  RIP

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Get Off Of My Cloud

Posted in Misguided Musings by

assholes

I’m surrounded by assholes.  Seriously.  What is up with people?!  Has the Asswit Squad decided to descend among the general population and dispense it’s flagrant idiocy to us unsuspecting innocents?

I have found lately that I am more sensitive to the shit that is routinely dispensed in my environment.  I refuse to acknowledge the presence of jackwits who fuck everything up then complain that others aren’t doing their jobs.  Ugh. I realize that the current economic fragility has people more than a little anxious, but fuck off and get on with it.  Really.

Is it necessary to vent that you are ‘not a chauffeur’ even though you volunteered to drive people to the event in the first place?

And excuse me asswit, but who made you the king of all things right?  I realize you’ve been around the block, but bragging how you know everything, does not win any popularity points or put you in good with anyone deemed responsible for your pay cheque.  Dough-head.

And telling people to use another door when you demanded they come in, then not have adequate snow removal is fucked-up.  Just sayin’.

I probably could go on a little more here, but you get my gist.  Stop complaining and do what you need to do.  I’m reeeeaaallly trying to be positive here, so either get with the whole ‘the-world-is-fucking-magical-and-I-love-it’ thing, or move on.  I’m tired of assholes messing up my more than rosy outlook on life.  I’m freakin’ happy here!

rainbow

Can’t you see the effervescent glow of my joy and the glare of the sunshine and rainbows projecting out of my ass? The unicorn you just ran over with your Jeep was my one piece of happiness that was getting me through my less-than-blithesome day!   That happy face you just shot a hole through with your sawed-off shotgun was the symbol of my everlasting faith in humanity.  It gave me hope that peace and love prevail over the evil and negative forces that invade my space on a daily basis…meaning you, you fuckhead.  Get off of my cloud!  Ugh…..

smiley face

In conclusion, I would just like to say for you asshats to keep your negativity out of my space, please.  It takes all of me to be this friggin’ happy during the worst month of the year and I’m currently basking in the glory of a job well done on that front.  AND…I said ‘please’.  That should count for something, dammit.

WTF? A Question Without An Answer….

Posted in Misguided Musings by

Good morning/afternoon/evening/whatever the fuck time zone you are in readers and welcome to the first installment of WTF?  A new series dedicated to the bizarre and often strange happenings of not only the universe pissing its inane sense of humor on all of us unfortunate beings, but the strange reaction we beings seem to have to this pissing match.  Let the urinating begin!

-I don’t know what the strange orange crap is that appeared on my keyboard today, but I’m hoping it will kindly disappear from whence it came. Apparently the disinfectant wipes don’t fucking work on orange crap.  Awesome.  Thank you.

-My daughter is reading Macbeth in English class…she is not impressed so I decided to text her a quote.  I think I’ll text  a whole soliloquy later just so she can be astounded and amazed by my awesomeness.  That’s how it works, right?  Quoting Shakespeare to your seventeen year old daughter?  Yeah, I’m so cool right now.

– The rattling noise in my car is still there.  I’ve wisely decided that it is intent on producing such harmonious sounds so as to extract a venomous reaction from yours truly.  I’m choosing the Penny solution.  I know it’s there, I’m hoping it will go away.  I’ll just ignore it until it falls dead on the road or it silently fades into oblivion.  There.  Problem solved.  The League of Nations should be calling me soon to solve the world peace issue.  I’ll just wait here patiently by the phone.

-Stuffing money down your bra when you’re hammered at the poker table and think you’ve just won a million dollars by beating every sober person around you, counts in real time poker too.  Where’s Bestie’s bracelet?  Vegas baby!!!

-My explanation for the downfall of my previous blog has hit all new heights since everybody now thinks I’m dead.  They think my old blog has been imploded due to my untimely and grisly demise.  Death by blogging.  A truly horrific event.  I think there’s a dedicated Facebook page in my memory.  Please sign and let me know you care…or cared…or… yeah.  I expect awesome eulogies, and sentimental anecdotes.  Father Leslie is not invited…nor should he be notified.  He might say something like “her math was terrible, but what a good housewife she was.”  Is it blasphemy to swear at a priest?   Hmmm….Should I care about that if I’m dead?  OH!  Don’t forget the bringing of flowers.  Lots o’pretty  flowers….awww….

-In other news totally unrelated to anything news-worthy or logical, a Dutch airline is holding an investigation into an alleged copilot allegedly sleeping while allegedly operating a plane.  The pilot was out of the cockpit taking a …well, leak…bathroom break…draining the main vein.  You get my drift.  He tried to get back into the cockpit but was locked out.  Seems co-pilot was too sleepy to let him back in. It’s all quite speculative right now.  I think if the co-pilot fell asleep, he no longer qualifies as ‘operating’ the plane…that means while the pilot was out relieving himself and the co-pilot was snoozing in dreamy-dreamland, then logically…THERE WAS NOBODY FLYING THE DAMNED PLANE!!  Where’s Samuel L. Jackson when you need him?  Ugh.  So, congrats to the Dutch airline for broadcasting this tiny flaw in the airline biz and the balls to come out and say that co-pilots pretty much do squat.  Awesome.  I think my next career is set.  Co-pilot for the Dutch airlines.  Do I have to speak Dutch?  Hmm….Oh, right.  I’m dead already, so I can speak whatever language I choose!  I choose the illustrious language of pig latin.  Iway ockray.

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Lovely Car Noises and Bad Book Reads

Posted in Books, Misguided Musings by

The episode-that-shall-not-be-named has been hitting the rounds these days.  I’ve got a few people who know what happened and are only too pleased to tease the fuck out of me whenever possible.  It’s fun until someone loses an eye, people.

I recently read a book that I don’t usually read.  Just for kicks.  Have you read this stuff that is hitting the best seller list?  It was a new release by one of those authors that writes a bunch of books in a week and everyone reads them incessantly and the Best seller people decide to bestow the grand title of Best Seller and there’s mad dash to read a bad book…or three.   Gawd, it was like the cliché-monster was roaming around and decided to vomit all over her pages.  WTF was THAT?  The ending was bad…just bad.  If you happen to read it…just don’t.  Don’t waste your precious and valuable time.  Read something else.  Read Fifty Shades if you have to.  Really.  I’m fucking serious.  It wasn’t that it was THAT bad, it was just….kinda sappy and…uncomfortable.  Yeah.  Uncomfortable, that’s how it made me feel.  I didn’t care if the protagonist got her revenge and I didn’t care if the guy she slept with twenty years ago at a random college party and had a secret love child with (and neglected to tell him that little tidbit) and to whom she sent letters to every year for eighteen years ( so as to get some attention and perhaps cash to help raise the child) only to find out she HAD THE WRONG FUCKING ADDRESS!!…I didn’t care if he lived or died.  It just didn’t make me want to read more.  It kinda made me want to suggest an alternate ending.  Or suggest the protagonist find another hobby. Or stick cocktail forks angrily in my eyes.   Hmmm…So now that I’ve told you the ending, wanna read the book?   I should have posted a spoiler alert….

The WRONG Michaels....she is NOT the author I was referring to..

The WRONG Michaels….she is NOT the author I was referring to..

I’ve been wondering where I’ve been getting all these wonderful readers from lately who drop by and sign up or even read a bit.  And comment.  That’s so nice.  Especially since I am feeling a bit lonely out here underconnected and isolated.  How did they find me?  I wonder…

My lovely car is making a lovely rattling noise that nobody seems to know how it got there. Or where it’s coming from.   Further investigation is warranted, but I’m procrastinating.  AND, the bottom part of the bumper now has a permanent split in it where D1 slid into a snow bank.  Thanks for that, by the way.  Really.  It was better than her slamming into the rear of another car and she felt bad about it until I told her it was cracked before anyway…she just helped it along a little by splitting it completely in half.  I bet the tires will give out again soon just to round out my car-asspain-bit.  Awesome.  At least I’ve never run out of gas at an intersection nor have it completely stall out on a highway.  At least I have THAT TO BE THANKFUL FOR!  Yay me!

So, to round out today’s little bit: I’m getting the shit teased out of me for the episode-that-shall-not-be-named, I read a book that was a bit on the shitty side, my lovely car is making a strange lovely noise and I love my readers…thanks for checking in!!

Fear and Paranoia Are Now My Besties

Posted in Misguided Musings by

My blogging days have dwindled since the episode-that-shall-remain-nameless.  Fear has held me tightly within its grasp and I am struggling to be free.  It ain’t easy.  I’m constantly looking over my shoulder to see who’s watching, then I’m incessantly censoring my words to make sure they’re not offensive or distorted; twisted into being malicious.  It’s a slippery slope.  It’s an uphill climb.  It’s fucking craptastic.  I hate thinking someone is misinterpreting what I’m saying as a slight against anything.  I’m simply saying what’s in my gut, people.

Maybe I should have a disclaimer clause at the beginning of each post clearly stating my wanton disregard for other’s feelings on the subjects I tend to complain about.  Or maybe I should have one of those announcers at the beginning of each post, like certain television programs, warning people of the ‘mature subject matter’ and the ‘material some may find offensive’.  I could leave out the ‘contains nudity’ part…or maybe I should include that.  Maybe more people would read on…stuff to think about.

It’s nice to think that some people actually miss me…is that weird?  Hmm…I’ve thought about re-opening the past, but that would just lead to more shit to hit the fan, so I think I’ll leave well enough alone.  If people miss me that much, they could track me down.  Or I could tell them.  Gee, that’s a swell idea.  Invite people to this one..hmmm…I think I shall prepare my formal invitations.  They’ll think it’s a party…I suppose drinks could be served.  And snacks.  Marvelous idea.

I’ll get working on the list.  In the meantime, thanks for stopping by and reading.  I shall be in touch and see what roaming around the ‘sphere I can do without getting decapitated in the process….that’s rather painful…I’d rather steer clear of that, thanks.