I was perusing Facebook last night and was surprised to see a post from a lady from our neighbourhood who was appalled and ‘disappointed’ that a pumpkin had gone missing from her front porch. Apparently, she was hoping some wayward homeless child picked it up and brought it home to treasure for Halloween, but lest, she was more taken with the thought that given the state of our ‘hood lately, it was probably stolen by some mischievous teens out for a good pumpkin-robbing time. The wording she used felt like she was saying our neighbourhood was falling into the skeet category of ‘hoods. The Compton of St. John’s. It was like she was comparing our white-bread middle class family oriented neighbourhood to 8mile. In the spirit of neighbourly neighbourly-ness, I decided to write a little diddy using Eminem’s “upbeat” ‘hood inspiring song Lose Yourself in hopes she realizes the erroneous choices of words in her post. Or not. Whatevs, Yo.
Lose YourJack
Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
Like a pumpkin
Would you capture that pumpkin?
Or just let it slip?
Yo.
His palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy
With the burden of a pumpkin weighing his hoody
He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To pick jacks, but he keeps on forgettin’ the address
That he wrote down, the whole ‘hood goes so quiet
He opens his hoody but the jack won’t fit
It’s too round, times up, over, Splat!
Uh, oh, he dropped it, at the park. He needs another.
Oh, there goes Skeeter, he choked
He’s so scared but he won’t give up that easy. No
He won’t have it, he knows his whole back city’s ropes
It don’t matter, he’s dope. He knows that but he’s broke
The rules to the ‘hood jackin’ a jack, it ain’t right but he needs his cred
He better go capture another and hope it don’t pass him
You better lose that jack in the ‘hood, at the park
You don’t own it, you better never let them see
You take a pumpkin without asking, it ain’t fantastic
You gonna be known as a Skeet
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to throw
This jack to the ground, it comes once a year. You better…
The souls escaping, through this hole that is gaping
In the pumpkin, where the smile should have been
It’s gone. He smashed it. He knows he’s not askin’
He’s goin’ on to another.
Jacks are easy to find. On the porches, in the backyards
He only needs one more.
He’s stealth. A monster. A Jackster of Jacks.
You better lose that jack in the ‘hood at the park
You don’t own it, you better never let them see
You take a pumpkin without asking, it ain’t fantastic
You gonna be known as a Skeet
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to throw
This jack to the ground, it comes once a year. You better….
There you have it, yo.
Word.
Original lyrics to Lose Yourself by Eminem
The porch of the skeet who stole the Jack O’Lantern.
Kayjai 