Friday I had a day to myself to paint a couple of rooms in my house (okay, one but it was the entry way AND the closet, so essentially that is two AREAS…AKA ROOMS. Stop judging. ) During that quiet one-on-one time with ma walls, I had some interesting thoughts ranging from the noisy neighbours outside, to Jesus. Which then led me to the seven deadly sins… what exactly are the seven deadly sins, anyway? And are they really THAT deadly? Just to scare you a little, here is just a snippet of the conversation in my head.
Oh, Jesus jealous much?
Jesus can’t be jealous. Isn’t that one of the seven deadly sins? You know like gluttony, greed, slothiness…slothness? Hmm…slutty sloth or slothy slut? Something like that? Can sloths really be sluts? ‘cause they have to actually move and stuff. That may take a full day of energy. All the other female sloths would be like, “Look at her she’s such a slut. She slept with one sloth in like one week. Tramp” Seriously, it would be a week’s worth of work for them. They’re so…slothy. That’s my new word. Slothy.
And I think it would be virtually impossible for a slut to be slothy…being a slut is an active pursuit, I imagine. So one would be busy. Slothy implies slow and lazy, so…that won’t work.
Hey, kid stop being so slothy. Speed it up!
That old man is driving so slothy. I can’t even handle it!
Snail mail is slothy.
So is dial-up internet.
And Heinz ketchup.
Of course an argument could be made that the word ‘slow’ is just as appropriate, but slothy has a better ring to it. Plus, I made it up so…I win.
And really, sloths are kinda cute in a fuzzy-claws-of-death kind of way.
Obviously, painting frees up some creative thoughts about sloths and Jesus. Next time, maybe I can ponder stop signs… they really should be titled ‘slow the fuck down’ signs.
I still have more rooms to paint. So much to think about….
12 thoughts on “What’s With All the Sloths?”
Sloths creep me out – i haven’t read the post for fear of a photo of one in it. Just thought i would let you know and they are bloody everywhere in the media these days!
Sloths are very popular due to their idleness…everybody is emulating them these days. Slothy-areses….
That’s a great photo.
Do you really have all this stuff going on in your head. . . I thought mine was bad!
I did, but sadly my memory is not what it used to be. I had to repeat things over and over and then take notes in order to remember what I was thinking…scary, but true.
“Jesus can’t be jealous” made me laugh … but “slutty sloth or slothy slut?” made me howl!!!
A tip for you … the next time you paint, have a recorder handy to catch your thoughts so you can write later. BTW …. I have a celebratory blog party this weekend, so hope you can drop by … bring any friends … besides, there will be plenty of wine.
Wine, you say? I’ll try to stop by. Thanks for the tip about the recorder…that just leads to further documentation of my madness…not sure I want to go there…
Madness goes with the territory. 🙂
You do know, that when you paint, you should allow for plenty of ventilation. That way, KJ doesn’t get all stoned and imagine things like Sloths. Cool word though…Slothy….
I’m hanging around, too lazy to comment.
Yup…slothy and everything…
Slothy implies slow and lazy – that is hilarious and no it would not work. Plus they are just too damn cute.