You Weren’t Sleeping, Were You?

Since allowing our precious puppy to sleep with us, we have encountered a plethora of interesting late night/early morning goings on that can only equal that of a crack house during peak operation.  Here’s a little rundown of last night’s exploits:

10:30pm – Magilicious takes up position at the end of the bed and begins digging.  She’s a digger.  Don’t ask me what she’s digging, I don’t’ know. 

10:31 –  I promptly replace Mags on her cushy brand new orthopedic bed with chew bones and toys and say the command ‘stay’.  Which she does.  I then secure myself in under the covers and set the tv up.  I’m all comfy and cozy.. 

10:31:03 – I’m suddenly pounced on by a seven pound mound of hair that thinks my face has been dipped in bacon.  After I extract her from my face I again, replace her back on her cushy brand new orthopedic puppy bed with the command  ‘STAY’.  She looks at me like this:

Really?  Yeah, right.

Really? Yeah, right.


10:34 – Magalicious cautiously creeps onto the end of the bed as if she’s sneaking up behind a masked villain stealing her doggy treats and she’s about to take him down.  She sees me eying her.  Her ears go down and she gives me that “What?  But I’m cute, right?”  I get up and move her AGAIN to her cushy brand new orthopedic puppy bed with her chew toy.  “ANNNNNDDDDD  STAY”  She gives me the stink eye.  I return to my comfy position.

10:45 – I feel a paw, then another paw, then another one caaarreefully walk on my ankles, then I feel a sudden ‘thump’.  I raise my head to see her walking in circles around my ankles in an attempt to get comfortable and plop herself right on beside my leg.   

10:46-  the door opens and Hubby walks in.  OH NO!  The dog is suddenly on high alert.  She’s standing at attention as if the president just walked into the room, her tail is wagging and in an excited flurry, she jumps down to her cushy brand new orthopedic puppy bed and retrieves her toy and brings it to him like it’s a gift for his majesty for gracing us with his presence.  Give me a fucking break.  Her ears are down, her tail is wagging and she’s just so damned excited she just may pee on her bed.  Which she does.  Great.

11:00 – Everybody is settled…ON OUR BED for the night.  Magalicious eyes me and is smiling smugly…I just know it.

1:00am – A flurry of activity has aroused me from a raucous dreams about Johnny Depp, helicopters and chocolate…dammit.  I feel my fingers being chewed off.  Then my arm is being used as a scratching post. I feel Magalicous climb on my head and try to chew my hair to its roots.  WTF?  I grab her and place her not so gently on the end of the bed.  I lay back down. 

1:00:03am –  A flying object with hair has inexplicably landed on my face and my ear is being chewed off and licked excitedly.   Ugh…I make the fatal mistake of standing up.  She thinks its morning and takes that as a sign we will be getting up now to play!!  “Yay!  Lets’ all go outside and run around and eat grass and bark at the neighbours!”  I grab her but not in time…she leaves a puddle on my comforter.  UUUUggggghhhh….

1:05am –  Magalicious is in her crate for the remainder of the night.  Hubby rolls over.

  “Where’s the comforter?”

  “The dog peed on it”

   “Oh.  Where is she now?” 

“In her crate where she’s staying” I say emphatically. 

“Aw, that’s a sin.  She likes sleeping with us” 


  “Huh…I didn’t notice anything


The Maggie Equation

Our new addition to our family is taking up a lot of time.  Not that we are resentful, just surprised at how much one little animal can impact a family.  Maggie is our new silky terrier and she is very cute…a baby in a dog body, this girl can woo you into babbling baby-talk in 0-60.  I went from being a semi-intelligent half-wit, to a babbling new mommy “Who’s a pretty girl?  Who’s a pretty girl?  Oh, yes Maggie is a pretty girl.  Ooooh” in no time flat…ugh.  It’s funny how your daily topic of conversation goes from the political arena of the province to how many times the dog peed on the carpet today.  I’m even calling home to check up on her.  “Did you brush her?  Is she sleeping?  Did you remember to put her favorite blanket in her bed?”  Ugh…I always thought dog parents were a bit nutty and now I know why.  When you have this face looking up at you on a minute-by-minute basis, how can you not be a gooey mass of a human?

Maggie and her best "Am I adorable or what?" face

Maggie and her best “Am I adorable or what?” face

Her sleeping habits are well…not really sleeping as much as ‘let’s see how I can get my human mommy to open my crate.  I’ll whine my head off and she can’t help but open up this damned door.  Sucker…’  and so it goes.   We’ve managed to get a few hours sleep and she’s getting used to us as the days wear on, but I fear this pooch is going to be so spoiled that come spring, she’ll be expecting us to buy her the little doggie booties so her precious paws don’t ever touch real pavement.  OR, putting little pink bows at the top of her head or going for doggie spa days.  I’m hoping it won’t come to this massive explosion of insanity, but never say nevah…she’s our precioussssssss.  See?  The Gollum-brain is starting to take over….Perhaps an intervention will be in order.

See?  It has begun...

See? It has begun…