Did you get a Swiftie ticket? When did going to concerts involve so much kerfuffle?

Didn’t it used to be just a matter of getting everyone together, grabbing a few tickets and seeing a show? Now, it’s registering here, verifying you are a person (AI is real and whoa, are we in for some shocking shit. Automated taxi cabs in San Fran just quit working and caused a traffic jam. No, that’s not out of a Sci-Fi show, it’s real. Fuck off, really? YES.)  and waiting to see if you are ALLOWED to buy a ticket. ALLOWED?! WHAT?! Bitch, you should be happy people WANT to see you. And I know it’s not HER exactly causing this backlog of ticket mania, but geez people. Really? Can’t she just record a few shows and put them out on YouTube or something so the peeps who can’t see her, can watch it like LIVEAID did back in the day? THAT WAS EPIC. Do that, Taylor. Do a concert for charity with Ed and all your buddies and stream it live so all the peeps can watch. There. Fixed it for you. You. Are. Welcome.

The new novel is going well, thanks. Not much fanfare or ado about it. Just trying to finish it before Christmas. That would be nice. Considering the first one was written four years ago. You know, taking my time. Stuff happens. Procrastination is real. I’ll be diligently working on a chapter then, wham! Oooh, look a shiny thing. Pretty! Done.   

The grandchild is growing like da weed and is already babbling, “Dada.” Soon she’ll be toddling along then before you know it, she’ll be driving her mom’s car and starting her own clothing line with a mini boutique opening downtown. Time flies. I’ll be lamenting my old arthritic joints and hoping I don’t fall on the sidewalk…kinda the same as now, but with whiter hair and more sass. I’ll stumble, pull myself together then swear about it, loudly. Probably ask where my wine glass is, and how did anyone think me walking was a good idea? Obviously, not my fault. Not much difference from now and when I’m eighty. So much to look forward to!

I’m finding it increasingly difficult to get onto the floor then get back up again. Having a grandchild reminds me how old I really am becoming. Also, new body parts start to inexplicably hurt. Like today it was my wrist. Yesterday, my ankle. Tomorrow it could be my earlobe, or eyebrows…who the fuck knows? It’s like my body parts had a session and decided what days they were going to set up a protest. Its rotating strikes for each body part. Each day it’s a surprise and it’s now your mission to discover new ways of working around that non-operational part. Ankle gave out? You’re limping. Ear hurts? Figure it out, bitch this is your life now. Getting old sucks.

I find my patience is waning. The other day while driving my daughter and her fiancée downtown, I was expressing my displeasure with drivers. She said I had road rage. My future son-in-law chimed in and said it wasn’t road rage, it was a lack of patience for stupid drivers, and I appreciated that. My daughter thought we needed to perhaps take a breath and be better people. We are good people when other people are less stupid. I think we had a point and won that conversation.

Summer is coming to an end and the sadness that comes with that realization is tangible. We didn’t have enough nice weather to say we had a summer. We had two weeks of heat, and the rest was a light Fall. A heavy Spring? Definitely not summer. I’m hoping we have a return of light Fall so that I can enjoy my non-summer a little bit longer. Maybe even into measurably mediocre Autumn, before we get into Frosty freezing Winter with a sprinkle of an Arctic vortex that only polar bears wearing their Canada Goose parkas could stand. Ugh. I just need a few more days where I can go outside, see the actual sunshine, and not wear a coat. All at the same time. A big ask, I know. Pull it together, Summer. YOU HAVE ONE JOB.

And now you can go back to whatever you were supposed to be doing before reading this shit. You should know better than to get distracted by the internet. And go find out about AI so you can tell other people and we can prevent it taking over the world, especially California where they seem to be fucked already. Way to go, Cali.